LESSON LEARNED

Reasoning while on a bike ride

aka Reasons it is a bad idea to bike in the wind

aka: Things you learned while riding your bike today

When you begin your bike ride… the wind is blowing. Just because it has been a beautiful warm spring day does not guarantee the same in the early evening. Even if the sun is still shining and the skys are blue.

You think to yourself, ‘This isn’t too bad of a head wind, I’ll be gone less than an hour tonight.’

5 miles out (when you should have turned around) you decide to ride to the top of the hill to see if the new trail head is open yet.

It is.

With renewed vigor, you decide to ride out onto the new trail.

That head wind you thought you had when you started? It wasn't a head wind. THIS is now a real head wind. The kind you lean your bike into as your front tire wobbles around, trying to not be blown over.

Wind is cold. You wish you had that head band you bought to keep your ears warm when the temps are low. You are positive it was quite warm when you left?

You notice a little bird in the middle of the bike path with its feathers all blown this way and that. As you peddle by, you wonder ‘Poor little bird, is it dead or alive?’ It doesn’t move, so you assume it is either dead or its feet are buried in the asphalt because boy is the wind blowing hard.

You come to your senses 2 more miles out and decide to turn around.

Wait a second… the head wind just got worse. Weird.

You return past where the bird WAS. It is now gone and you realize the little bird was taking a break from the wind earlier. Smart little bird.

You keep peddling.

You seriously begin to wonder if you are going to make it home alive when you turn a corner and sweet relief, the wind begins pushing you down the path.

You wonder to yourself ‘I wonder how hard the wind it blowing?’

You notice leaves blowing past you as you peddle and glance down. You are going 21 miles per hour. Hmmm. No wonder, can’t wait to get home.

This tail wind only lasts about a mile. The ‘head wind’ begins again.

You realize that the wind is actually blowing from all directions simultaneously when you notice flowering tree blossoms swirling in tiny whirlwinds all around you. It finally makes sense.

You begin musing about all of the reasons why it is a bad idea to be biking in a wind storm because you also take note that most of your ride has been in some of the lowest gears, even when going downhill. Unheard of.

You think to yourself. Mother Nature is having some fun with me tonight. I can barely breath. You think of that time you blew in a baby's face and they gasped for air. Not so funny when it's you having the wind blown out of your lungs.

You don’t realize you have been sweating until you are safely inside your home where the wind is no longer blowing.

You look up the wind speed on the weather channel. 23 miles per hour. That explains the leaves. It also explains why you could barely maintain 10 miles per hour most of the ride. As you think about this, you are CERTAIN there were frequent wind gusts of much more than 23 miles per hour tonight.

While you vow never to make that mistake again (the term fair weather biker now refers to wind conditions as well as temperature and precipitation), you feel great for having accomplished such an impossible feat… now that it is done.

Not all bike rides are created equal.

AND you didn’t fall over on your bike.

… did that sound like bragging? No. It was NOT bragging. It was an expression of gratitude. Gratitude that you have not fallen over on your bike yet. Very very grateful for that one. Very.

...and very grateful to be home safe and sound tonight.

Happy Birthday Dad!

My dad would have been 79 today. He died when he was 55. 

I was 19 when he died and the farther I get from 19... the more I realize I didn't really know him too well.

In his memory, I tried to think of a unique memory to share. This is the one I came up with.

Let me take you back, way back. I was a child in the 70's.

I loved my dad and I knew he loved me. How do I know? 

Well, because he took LOTS of pictures of me. :)

Really, how could he resist?

Occasionally he would photograph the entire family. We were a happy crew, let me tell you.

Hmmm... looks like mom was happy...

Anyhow! I was a small enough that sometimes my childish imagination would get the best of me. And somehow, someway, I was convinced of one truth. 

I believed MY dad was Elvis Presley.

Yes, that's right. Mr. Blue Suede Shoes himself. 

The King. 

Now, what in the world would EVER possess me to think that, you may ask. Well, there were pictures around our house. Pictures of my dad and I had seen pictures of 'The King'. If the Easter Bunny was real, surely my dad could be a rock and roll star by night and father by day.

Here's the proof:

 Dad? Elvis?

Elvis? Dad?

See what I mean. Hard to tell. Especially to a 7 year old. 

Why did we move to the south east? To get closer to Graceland perhaps? 

Crew cut seems like a perfect cover. Product designer by day, slap on that Elvis wig... 

(what? Happens in Vegas all the time!) 

Hip shakin' performer by night.

Well, anyhow. Turns out, my dad was king of our castle and not the king of rock-n-roll. And I'm OK with that. I love my dad and I miss him.

Happy Birthday Dad!

...Ummmm...eeerrrr... I mean DAD!!!

Plenty of people think Elvis was gone too soon and too young.

Same is true for you... (still makes me wonder! {wink})

Dance

Click HERE to view.

How can you not smile 

watching happy people dancing 

all over the world???

Dance

Smile

Live

Chanel Brush

> Foundation and Concealer Brush. These have seriously changed my life. Where have you been?!? I use WAY less makeup now... This = saving serious moola. They are devine to use. If you don't have them. What are you waiting for? Go on. Go get 'em. I LOVE mine.

Mountain Dew in The Windowsill

Do you ever have a random event from your past pop into your mind? 

That happens to me sometimes. Lately, more than I'd care to relate... but that's a story for another day. Today, one of those random events popped into mind and I, of course, thought, BLOG!

This tale, I've decided to title:

Mountain Dew in The Windowsill

Waaaaaaaay long ago when I was an aspiring Interior Design student, in the hamlet of Provo, UT, it was not uncommon to pull all-nighters. When I say all-nighter, don't be mistaken that I mean I stayed awake doing homework for 24 hours straight. These sleep deprived sessions often extended into 36 or 48+ hours. Mountain Dew was my drug of choice to keep the adrenalin going on this grueling schedule.

Setting the stage:

Drafting class. Rows of drafting boards packed into the classroom. The instructor is... instructing. I am sitting about 3 rows back ALL the way in toward the wall from the aisle, by a window. My mountain dew is sitting in the windowsill... here, let me illustrate...

There I sit, falling asleep. Time for another hit. I pick up the can. 

Screeeeeeeeeech. 

Wait a second, there's one other thing you need to know about me. 

I have a diastema. 

Say it with me. 

Di-a-ste-ma. 

Good. 

Actually, I happen to be blessed with a plural diastema, as seen here:

Why it is a blessing will soon be revealed. Because of this amazing, inherited, quirk of nature and lack of braces or retainers at any point in my life to correct the problem, it has become a part of who I am and what I look like. (aren't I cute?)

Make no mistake.

I've learned to use this defect to my advantage. 

When I drink, the liquid gets sifted through my teeth. I can whistle through my teeth. Listen next time I say a word with an 's' sound. Sometimes, you'll hear a subtle whistle. Now, you'll notice and it will drive you crazy too. Especially noticeable when I whiSper. It also makes flossing extraordinarily simple to accomplish. Quick in, quick out. TMI? ok. Back to the windowsill.

I pick up the can. Take a swig which is absentmindedly, summarily, sifted. As I swig and sift, I feel some kind of non-liquid foreign object slip on through.

Stop the presses. 

All swigging and swallowing stops and I've got a full mouthful of mountain dew with some kind of UFO (that's a 'unique found object') floating around in my mouth which had moments before been enjoying a dip in my MD can!!! (this seemed like a good point in the story to introduce the exclamation points) What to do? I was trapped at the end of a row of fellow students and the instructor is instructing away. Luckily, the fight or flight instinct kicked in and I quickly evaluated: There is a sink at the opposite side of the room up near the front door. My escape for said liquid and UFO could be easily disengaged into that sink.

I embraced fight AND flight. With my hand over my mouth, I ran toward the sink. A muffled, "mmm mmmmmm mmmm!!" coming from my throat. Had anyone been able to interpret was, "Get out of my way!!! Coming through!!!". This brought the lecture to a stand still as all eyes were on me making my way to the front of the room for something none of us expected to see that day.

Me, spewing, and a mighty spew it was, the Mountain Dew from my mouth, 

well aware of said UFO brushing past my lips. 

There, in the sink, crawling around...

(play the Psycho 'shower scene' sound effect music in your mind now...)

CRAWLING AROUND did you get that. 

crawling. 

Was One of These:

Yes, I screamed. "Cough, cough, sputter... Eeeeew!!! It's an earwig!!!!" Others screamed too. Then, as I recall, we all broke out in fits of laughter as other kids checked their cans of soda sitting in the windowsills.

All I could figure is this little fella had made a spectacular dive from the window blinds where he was hiding, intending to land on the windowsill, instead finding himself in my soda. I can only imagine this creatures horror at being sifted between my teeth and finding itself in the dark cavern of my mouth. Should we name it Pinocchio or Jonah? I don't really feel bad for the earwig. I washed him down the drain. I was very grateful for my diastema that day as that sifting early warning system saved me from ingesting the bug. Eeeeww.

I am of the personal opinion that there is a scripture for every occasion. This is no exception. There's a little scripture I'd like to remind every creeping thing around me, to remember.

Deuteronomy 14:19 

"...every creeping thing (OR winged insect) that flieth is unclean unto you: they shall not be eaten."

Words to live by. I know God has a sense of humor. I think he added this verse just for me.

The End.

I have several little tales akin to this, recalling my adventures with insect wildlife invading my 'bubble'. You know 'the bubble', don't you? That invisible line that says, 'Don't get any closer to me.' Insects do not respect my bubble. Many of these tales, I've entertained my friends and family with. I seem to have a never ending supply of comical encounters that weren't so funny at the time. Perhaps I have some fodder for blogging for the next several posts... more to follow friends. Bees, Flys, Wasps, 'Large Items' (still not sure what it was), attack of the hummingbird....  Did I mention Flys? For those of you who HAVE heard my most infamous encounter with a fly, just know, I am not always as discrete and subtle as I was that time. Perhaps that was an opposing reaction to the scene I had caused with Mr. Earwig. Be entertained.